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Friday, December 16, 2005
Bollywood movies are not doing well abroad according to Rediff. Are there any reasons? Needless to say, Bollywood producers have this habit of bringing out similar themed movies with minor adjustments here and there and that Bollywood has time and again stolen themes from Hollywood is legendary. What else can you expect from an industry that brings out the largest numbers of movies every year? Directors & producers alike are bound to be at a loss for ideas further compounded by their already limited stash of ingenuity. I for one seldom watch Bollywood movies and when I do, I always end up discovering some form of plagiarization from some Hollywood production. Maybe it’s my fault. Or maybe I’m too biased.
Oh yes, there are talented people too but in insignificant numbers – and probably a pariah in their own industry.
Take the case of the blockbuster Black for instance. I, on the insistence of a friend, went to watch it. I had heard a lot of good things about this movie. Everything was going well till the part where AB teaches the blind girl to say ‘Water’. I vividly remember Hollywood’s Helen Keller having a similar scene. The movie was based on the life of a person by the same name, who overcame her hearing and seeing disabilities to become a great author and political activist. Back to Black now. From that point on, the enjoyment level was pretty downhill. Don’t get me wrong. The actors did a great job, particularly the kid. The direction, photography, lighting, etc. was brilliant. But it leaves you with an unpleasant aftertaste when something like that happens to you. Like they say - kabaab mein haddi.
On the other hand, I have no qualms in enjoying the blatant copycat versions.
So which Hollywood production would you like to see cooked in Bollywood masala?
My obvious choice would be Titanic. This is how I perceive the Bollywood version:
Her fiance’ – some unknown Hollywood actor whom we shall name James.
The basic plot stays the same with the usual Bollywood garnish hither and thither. The scene in based in 1912 Bombay (pre-independent India). Mary is an English high society girl betrothed out of compulsion to British officer James. Veeru is a multi-faceted low-life. We shall add a few anti-British jibes and somehow make the ship travel to the Antarctic en route to the US of A.
Let’s see how it turns out.
Scene 1 (modern day on a research vessel)
Scene 3 (1912, India)
Scene 4 (bow of the ship)
Scene 9 (Bow of the ship)
Scene 10 (First Class Dining Room)
Scene 11 (Outside)
Scene 12 (On the back-seat of a steamy Ambassador Mark I)
Scene 14 (Sinking ship)
Scene 15 (among the debris)
Scene 16 (England)
Scene 17 (Today back on the research vessel)
Now that wasn’t bad was it? Muhahaha!
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